asking for shit and not sounding poor: a tutorial😂

So Basically… You Gotta Do It Right 🤷🏽‍♀️

Asking for your light bill or food money because you’re broke? Not sexy. Sounding desperate? Unattractive. Looking like a financial burden? A one-way ticket to getting ghosted.

Listen, they’re not getting off on just giving money—otherwise, they’d be at church paying their tithes. 🙃

They get off on the privilege of giving money to a smart, beautiful woman who makes them feel lucky to be in her presence. If they sense it’s all a front or just an act? Game over.

How to Ask Without Killing the Vibe

❌ Light bill due?✅ “😍 Baby, can you cover my gym bill? I need to keep looking good for you.”

❌ No food?✅ “Ugh, I don’t feel like cooking tonight. My Grubhub is $$$—cover it? 😉” (Boom. You just got your meal without sounding like you’re starving.)

❌ Drug problem? (Not judging, but be strategic.)✅ “I really wanna get back in the gym/start a membership—can you send $$$?” (They won’t ask to see what you actually bought.)

❌ Need new clothes?✅ “My bestie is always spoiled with new outfits—will you do that for me too? 🥺” (Only a heartless man says no.)

❌ Just need cash?✅ 👉☺👈 “Send me $100 pweese, it’s kinda important.” (The classic baby voice. Works 90% of the time.)

The Art of the Ask

• Jazz it up. Ask for things that don’t require physical proof.

• Spread it out. Don’t be a walking invoice—keep the illusion alive.

• Amazon is your bestie. Find something in the price range, ask for it, then buy the cheaper version and keep the difference. Profit. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Moral of the story? Closed mouths don’t get fed—but smart ones eat very well. 😘💸